Thirty-Nine Thoughts After Thirty-Nine Years of Marriage

To my beloved Linda with a background color to honor her love of roses

Linda 1985

(This is how she still looks to me.)

December 11, 2009

1. There is respect without love but there is no love without respect.

2. Personal integrity is the most important character trait to seek in a life-mate.

3. Two people can live together for 39 years and still not know each other.

4. God having an important part in both lives helps keep spouses together.

5. In the best marriages, God comes first followed by spouse and then children.

6. Children always know when their parents are having trouble.

7. Genetic ties are strong and produce tendencies but family love improves them.

8. Sex is important but not indispensable between a man and woman who love each other.

9. When trust is broken once, it’s doubly difficult to regain.

10. Husband and wife must agree on family finance in order to have genuine peace.

11. There are definitive roles of husband and wife in a happy marriage.

12. Husbands and wives tend to stop truly listening to each other over the years.

13. Family crises can either make a marriage stronger or break it apart.

14. Husband and wife can have many differences in what they like and still be happy.

15. The most important thing in a happy marriage is a husband and wife who love each other.

16. The second most important thing in a happy marriage is to genuinely love the children.

17. Husband and wife should respect each other’s differences and not try to change the other.

18. Nothing is more important to smooth the bumps in married life than a sense of humor.

19. All things considered, never having had sex with anyone other than your spouse is best.

20. A husband is always going to look at pretty women; a good man will only look.

21. A wife is going to notice attractive men; a good woman will never make it obvious.

22. Familiarity breeds contempt is an adage that only applies to a marriage without true love.

23. Husband and wife should always be concerned with taking care of each other.

24. Husband and wife will each screw up badly many times; true love will forgive those times.

25. Husband and wife vow before God to love each other; to fail is to break that vow.

26. Both husband and wife will eventually grow old; true love will scarcely notice.

27. Romantic love has very little to do with successful marriages.

28. Mutual trust and respect have everything to do with successful marriages.

29. Children cannot hold marriages together; children enhance a happy marriage.

30. Grandchildren are among God’s greatest blessings to happy marriages.

31. Each spouse will grow more like his or her parents as they age.

32. Husband and wife should know and compensate for each other’s weaknesses.

33. Husband and wife should never seriously disparage the other before others – never.

34. Neither spouse should allow friends or family to disparage the other.

35. A good man will still have many flaws; a good woman will forgive them.

36. One good woman is worth more to her husband than wealth, fame or anything else.

37. There is nothing more important in life than keeping the commitment of marriage.

38. There is nothing more satisfying in life than a long happy marriage with children.

39. After 39 years of marriage I still truly love my good woman.